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Family life, Parenting

When IT Appears (Boys!)

It’s happening.

My worst nightmare has suddenly been thrust upon me like a hundred pound weight dropped from a four story building. There’s nothing I can do about it. It had to happen sooner or later.

Northrop B-2A Block 30 Spirit 82-1071 "Sp...

Northrop B-2A Block 30 Spirit 82-1071 "Spirit of Mississippi" (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I guess I was hoping for later . . . much later.

But as it tends to do, time has crept up on me like a stealth bomber over Baghdad and my oldest daughter has begun noticing . . . ahem . . . (breathe, Michael; in through the nose, fill the lungs from the bottom up, exhale through pursed lips) . . . boys.

There, I said it.

Talk about shock and awe. I had hoped this day would never come, that somehow, someway, God would have mercy on me and rapture his church before the b-word became an issue.

Sure, she’s barely a teen and isn’t allowed to date for, oh, I don’t know, at least a couple decades, but it’s the beginning, the beginning of something horrible and terrifying–boy friends (notice I kept the two words separated intentionally). Ughh.  Even the sound of the word makes me cringe, makes my skin crawl, and my blood curdle inside me.

I’ll admit it now for all to hear: I’m not going to do well when the young male species starts showing up on my front porch. Those brazen, testosterone-infested intruders won’t get past my front door without a fight.

It: “Hi, I’m here for–.”

Me: “I’m sorry, there’s no one here by that name. You must have the wrong house. Bye. Don’t come back.”

Okay, okay. I’ll be nice, well, maybe cordial . . . tolerant. But I’m a jealous dad. I don’t like when something (or someone) comes between my daughters and me. I like our relationship how it is—daddy and his girls.

My dad is jealous, too. My heavenly Father, that is. He says so Himself: you shall worship no other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God (Exodus 34:14).

God is jealous for our affection, time, and worship. He won’t tolerate anything coming between His children and Himself.

Deuteronomy 4:24 says, “For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.”

Hmmm. Consuming fire. I can do that.

Sooner or later I will no longer be number one in my daughter’s life. I understand that and will have to accept it when the time comes. But I can always keep my Father number one in my life. He deserves it and is more than worthy.

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About michaelkingbooks

I write stories of faith and family, love and loss, heartache and triumph. Here I blog about faith, relationships, and genuine living.

Discussion

16 thoughts on “When IT Appears (Boys!)

  1. My daughter will be 4 in July and I am already dreading that day when the “b” word comes to town.
    Come Lord Jesus come!!!

    Posted by kevin hill | March 23, 2012, 5:24 am
  2. Great post, Michael! I still remember the day my daughter, Julie, left for college in Tallahassee. I called her the next day and someone of the male species answered her phone. I asked for Julie, and when said he didn’t know anyone by that name, he had just answered the phone when he heard it ring, I was ready to get in my car and drive the four hours to Tallahassee! When I described her as a girl with red hair, he said, “Oh, her! I’ll find her and tell her to call you back.” I was on my way out the door to the car (that would NOT have made the trip) when she called back. She was helping out in the Chi Alpha (Assembly of God college ministry) house on campus and had laid her phone down (which she is notorious for doing). She calmed my beating heart and assured me all was well. Believe me, I called her every day for a month I think to make sure!

    Posted by Deborah Patterson Moss | March 23, 2012, 8:03 am
  3. Mike,
    WOW!!! You literally took every word and feeling from Greg’s and my heart. This article really hit home for 2 reasons. The first is that we are on the exact same page when it comes to your thoughts and feelings over this “issue”. The second is that these verses were always hard for me growing up. I remember in 6th grade going up to my teacher and, very innocently and eager to learn more of the truth, asking her why God was jealous when He said that jealousy was wrong and we shouldn’t be jealous, that love wasn’t jealous. Her response to me was, in a very abrupt and short reply, “God can be whatever He wants to be”. Hmmmmm…while I knew that was true, I knew that there had to be another answer. I knew, even at 12 years old that she must not have known the answer and so she was frustrated and, rather than saying that she would look into it and let me know, she just blurted out her first defensive thought.
    Well, all my adult life I knew that there had to be a reason but still never knew (funny now that I think about it, I never asked my Dad who I went to for all of these hard-to-answer questions). A few years ago during a Beth Moore Bible Study at CBC I got my answer. God isn’t jealous OF anything or anyone. He is jealous FOR us. He loves us so much that He doesn’t want anything to come between Himself and us and He will fight for that position. Being jealous OF someone or something is a distrust and focuses on that persons selfish desires. Being jealous FOR someone puts the focus on the best interest of the other person and fighting for that person’s best interest whether you are accepted by them or not.

    If it makes you feel better, we were talking to her yesterday about:
    1.)the importance of “Daddy Approval” and you having a relationship with the guy first to get to know him and then YOU being the one to initiate a relationship at the proper time if you both agree
    2.)the importance of using her best years for the Lord. The goal of a woman’s life shouldn’t be to find a guy and be married by a certain age
    3.)the most important thing to look for is that “the guy” loves the Lord MORE than he loves her. This should be true for her as well, and
    4.)a girls doesn’t have to hang out one on one with another girl in order to know if they are someone that you would like to be good friends with. You see how they interact in real situations and you know what they are like. We all know people that we wouldn’t want to be good friends with and we didn’t have to “date” them in order to know that. The same is true for boys.

    Posted by Elizabeth Ann Fisher | March 23, 2012, 8:52 am
    • Great thoughts, Beth. Agreed on all accounts. It’s a matter of having a right perspective of finding the man God has for our daughters. I’m sure there’ll be more posts on this in the future!

      Posted by michaelkingbooks | March 23, 2012, 3:08 pm
      • I’m thankful that Greg and I have you and Jen to go through all this with. Somebody who really gets how it feels. We can be there to help each other, okay? I haven’t delayed in beginning to pray that I don’t become a basket case when “it” happens. *~*

        Posted by Elizabeth Ann Fisher | March 23, 2012, 4:05 pm
  4. I love this!!! Truth, truth, truth! Mu daughter is only 3, but my husband and I are also dreading that day! My hubby says our daughter is going to be the first Baptist nun, haha! I would like to add, if you would like a resource for your daughter, that my pastor’s wife has been leading a study on Wednesday nights through Mary Kassian’s book Becoming a Girl Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild and it is excellent! Some of the language and subjects are a bit… mature, so maybe you and your wife should preview it first, but the principles are worth it! Blessings on this transition, and I will be in prayer for grace for you and godly *whispered* b words for your daughter.

    Posted by becka | March 23, 2012, 9:12 am
  5. great post, I needed the laugh today. You’re not going to be one of those guys with a sign in your yard threateing to shoot boys coming to see your daughters are you? 😉

    Posted by Mark Buzard | March 23, 2012, 9:38 am
    • Shoot them? Mark, I’m a writer, surely I can come up with something more creative than that 🙂

      Posted by michaelkingbooks | March 23, 2012, 3:12 pm
      • The pen is mightier than the sword?

        You’ve surely heard the comment that a girl should be so close to God that the boy has to go to and through God to get to her.

        I’m a mother of two great adult sons (both married), so didn’t have quite the same concerns, but similar ones!

        Posted by loishudson | March 23, 2012, 3:43 pm
      • I think you ought to sic “Stevie” on them! LOL!!! Just leave a lion paw laying around and tell him it’s name is “Stevie” and that he comes alive whenever you get upset!

        Posted by Elizabeth Ann Fisher | March 23, 2012, 4:09 pm
  6. Just to clarify my point #4 (above) I’m talking about how we get to know people by just watching them in a group and getting to know what they are really like. What is their walk with the Lord like? What do they do when they don’t think anybody is watching? Are they compassionate? Do they put God first in their lives? Do they have a sense of humor? What kind of things do they enjoy? etc. Finding a guy doesn’t have to be much different than finding a “girl” friend. In this world, we tend to find a guy and then try to find out what they are like and if we are “compatible”. Instead, we should know what they are like before giving away a piece of your heart to 10 different guys before you find the “right” one.

    Posted by Elizabeth Ann Fisher | March 23, 2012, 11:13 am
  7. I feel your pain brother. However, this is just the beginning. After all, you have four beautiful girls. But you’re not in this alone. Besides Jen, you have us for support. And, I can give you the grandfather perspective because I have three beautiful granddaughters. Oh great! I get to go through it all again, God willing.

    Posted by Bruce Brady | March 23, 2012, 11:35 am

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