Looking to frustrate your kids? It’s not hard, they seem to always be on the edge of some cliff that drops off into an abyss of angst. And it only takes a little nudge to send them tumbling. Then you and your spouse can sit back and be satisfied that you played an integral role in their initiation into the “real world.”
Here they are, 10 ways to totally and sometimes irreparably frustrate your kids:
- Talk over them. Don’t listen to them when they talk, don’t give them a chance to defend themselves, don’t allow their input. What they have to say really isn’t important anyway.
- Give them tasks they can’t possibly complete. Make sure they don’t have the time nor the know-how nor the proper tools to complete the task you give them.
- Give them unclear or confusing instructions. Mixed messages do it every time. See how vague you can make your explanations.
- Don’t give them a reason for your decision. “I said so” works every time. And when they ask why just stick to your guns, “Because I said so.”
- Be overprotective. It’s a scary world out there and they really should just stay away from it.
- Be ever watchful. That old big brother thing. Hey, if it works for the government it should work for the family.
- Give them no privacy. Nothing they have is really theirs anyway. Make sure they feel like they have no personal space, no personal items. Nothing sacred.
- Show them no respect. Respect is earned, right? And it takes a lot more than a dozen or so years to earn respect. Besides, they’re just kids, what do they know?
- Be inconsistent in every way you can. House rules, your moods, discipline, the whole deal. Keep them off balance.
- Criticize them at every turn. They’re kids, they make lots of mistakes. Capitalize on that and make sure to point out every time they mess up. And make a big deal about it. A really big deal.
Okay, so go forth and frustrate. You’re kids will thank you some day, when they’re unproductive members of society with all kinds of anger and dysfunctional relationships.
Question: Can yo think of any other ways to totally and permanently frustrate our kids?