you're reading...
Interpersonal relationships, Life's Challenges, Personal living

5 Ways to Battle Regrets

Arrepentimiento / Regret

(Photo credit: Mariano Moreyra)

Regrets. We all have them, sometimes on a daily basis. I should have . . . I could have . . . why didn’t I . . . If only . . .

Sound familiar? Yeah, I’m with you. The tendency is to focus on the what should have been and berate ourselves for not doing what we should have or could have.  Anger precedes sorrow and finally mourning takes over. And if we don’t move through those stages and the regret lingers and grows and festers like an old sore that just won’t heal, well, some really bad stuff can happen.

I recently faced that regret monster because of a decision I didn’t make that led to one very heartbroken daughter. I cried with and for her. I scolded myself. Berated myself. Questioned myself. Why didn’t I act when I should have? Why didn’t I make the decision I should have made?

So what do we do when regret inbeds itself in our soul and begins gnawing a hole there?

Here are five suggestions to leave regret behind and move forward without looking back.

  • Accept that you can’t change the past. As the saying goes, it is what it is. No matter how much it may hurt or how angry you are about it, the past is there and it’s not available to change.
  • Talk to God about how you feel. Be honest, he knows your heart anyway. Get all your angst out before him and dump your burdens at his feet.
  • Seek forgiveness, if needed, and allow yourself to be forgiven. Extend the same grace to yourself that God so freely gives.
  • Do what you can to right any relationships that have been damaged. Much of this is out of your control but do what is within your power to bring healing.
  • Learn from the regret and take action to make sure something similar doesn’t happen again.

Let’s face it, regret is real and there’s usually no easy away around it. But we can work through it. It’s a valley that has to be traversed in order to put it behind us for good.

Question: How do you deal with regret?


About michaelkingbooks

I write stories of faith and family, love and loss, heartache and triumph. Here I blog about faith, relationships, and genuine living.


11 thoughts on “5 Ways to Battle Regrets

  1. Reblogged this on MIKE DELLOSSO.

    Posted by mikedellosso | July 30, 2012, 6:52 am
  2. When I was going through 3 months of inpatient treatment for an eating disorder at age 17, I learned the serenity prayer..God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference…it helps me with regrets. On another note, something I learned at treatment that helps me with unconfessed sin and areas of deep pain in my life is “we are only as sick as our secrets”…the enemy of our souls wants us to be in darkness…to keep those things hidden so that our sins and hurts won’t be exposed to the healing light of Christ and burned away. Smple, but a wonderful thought to remember. I hope this helps someone today.

    Posted by Brook | July 30, 2012, 8:27 am
  3. Also, Mike, in your books…at least the ones I’ve read so far, you have a knack for dealing with the light and darkness issue in a wonderfully tangible way..I pray that more people will read and be blessed.

    Posted by Brook | July 30, 2012, 8:29 am
  4. thanks for posting this Mike, I needed it

    Posted by Mark Buzard | July 30, 2012, 9:01 am
  5. Thanks Mike and Brook. This was a good lesson. Mike, are you sure you weren’t called to be a preacher? Seriously, if you were a Sunday School Teacher, My husband and I would be in your class.

    Posted by Terri Conrad | July 30, 2012, 12:08 pm
  6. Another great post that was exactly what I needed to hear today. I struggle with regret, but one thing I’ve learned over the years is that living in that regret and allowing it to control you usually ends up just piling more regret on top of it. You know, “If I hadn’t thought like this, I wouldn’t have ended up doing that” type situations. It also keeps a person bound up and unable to move forward. At least, that’s been my experience.

    Posted by wmelinda | July 30, 2012, 12:30 pm
  7. Excellent words for all of us Mike! I’ve faced that monster more than once in my life as I’m sure anyone thinking rightly about themselves has.

    Posted by Athol Dickson | August 12, 2012, 6:33 pm


  1. Pingback: Do You Have a Bag of Regrets? « pastorswifelife - September 18, 2012

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Follow Me on Pinterest

Twitter Updates

What readers are saying about A THOUSAND SLEEPLESS NIGHTS . . .

I have not been so deeply and utterly moved by a book in a very long time. A Thousand Sleepless Nights is a powerful and gripping novel that moved me greatly.
--Susan S.

A Thousand Sleeples Nights left me speechless as my heart and mind reconciled dealing with the trauma of cancer and a lifetime of regrets and finding God in the midst of it all. Sometimes a diagnosis of cancer can be God’s redemption.
--Jill J.

An emotionally steeped blessing of a story. One that pulled at my heart with one hand while holding a convicting mirror in the other.
--John U.

Great job. I hope and pray this book does for others what it did for me.
--Terri C.

I read A Thousand Sleepless Nights twice because it was that good. A very emotional story of a dysfunctional family, cancer, redemption and healing.
--Pat R.

I can really see how [this book] will be a blessing to many who have to face the devestation of cancer and loss.
--Tina H.

A Thousand Sleepless Nights will tug at your deepest emotions as it unfolds the evil of cancer and the power of relationships. The characters are endearing, real and relatable, as is the true battles they fight: illness, apathy, love, commitment and balancing life. King's novel strikes a vein, and sends hope to the heart of the matter--a fine read for anyone in need of healing.
--Donnalynn D.

This is a stirring novel that paints a great picture of cancer and its effects on not only those who have it, but their families and friends.
--Mark B.

A Thousand Sleepless Nights moved me so deeply I could not leave it alone until I’d read it completely. This bittersweet tale of illness--both physical and emotional--and the way lives are ultimately changed by its effects makes it a story for everyone, especially for those struggling to find forgiveness and healing.
--Claudette W.

A Thousand Sleepless Nights is a novel that touches you on a deep emotional level. It is a beautiful story about surviving, suffering, and what the true meaning of love is and how cancer, while devastating, can pull together a family torn apart by a past of neglect. A beautiful masterpiece!
--Joshua R.


July 2012
« Jun   Aug »
%d bloggers like this: